Category Archives: Merch

In Which I Drank The Official Beer of Record Store Day 2017…A Month After Record Store Day

Record Store Day was April 22 and now, nearly a month later, I have finally tried the Official Beer of Record Store Day 2017. I’ve written a few beer-with-a-music-theme posts in the past, and they are always a disaster. Most specifically, there was the time I reviewed the Iron Maiden Beer, The Trooper, and basically wrote how much I hated it because it’s an ESB (English Special Bitter) and that was a style I don’t enjoy. Fast-forward to several years later, and not only do I love ESB’s, but I think The Trooper is a fantastic beer! So what gives? Well, kinda like how you don’t always click with your favorite album the first time you hear it, beer sometimes needs a little time before your palate can fully process it. And sometimes your tastes just change. For example, with The Trooper, one of my complaints about it at the time was that it was a lower ABV (alcohol by volume). Back when I wrote that post, having a lot of alcohol was important because less beer was needed to get drunk. But now that I’m older (and have a son), getting “wasted” is not really a goal I have when drinking. Instead, a complex beer with an interesting flavor profile is more enjoyable to me. And frankly, at this stage in my life, a lower ABV is desirable.

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The Official Beer of Record Store Day 2017. Please don’t spill on your turntable  (or place your bottle so close that the records is scratched as it spins).

I write all of this, in a way, to atone for my sins against The Trooper, but also to tell you flat-out that my review of this beer is definitely subject to change. Or at least, it would were this beer not a limited one-shot release. The beer in question, Dogfish Head’s Beer To Drink Music To ’17, is the “Official Beer of Record Store day 2017.” Dogfish Head is a pretty famous Delaware-based craft brewery that’s known (at least to me) for super-hoppy IPA (India Pale Ales) that have so many IBU’s (International Bittering Units)  that my tongue literally screams for mercy when I drink them. Their most famous is probably the 60 Minute and 120 Minute IPA’s. These are good, well-built beers designed for people that are in love with hops. They are also pretty expensive to buy, which is why I don’t typically drink their beer. I’ve been eyeing the Beer To Drink Music To ’17 six pack for a while, mostly because it had such an unusual set of ingredients (which I’ll get to in a moment) but was put off from buying it because it cost about $14.99. That’s not insane, but it’s expensive enough to put me off from trying it on a whim.

 

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I am ashamed of how difficult it was for me to get this picture. My iPhone mysteriously quit saving my pictures and I ended up having to borrow Mrs. Defending Axl Rose’s phone.  So that smile is fake. Fake as shit.

 

I moonlight at a liquor store on the weekends, and I was finally able to snag two bottles after a customer discovered that one of the six-packs our store had was missing a bottle. Thus, unable to sell it at full price, the remaining five were split up for individual sale. I picked up two, splitting the first with my wife (Mrs. Defending Axl Rose) and saved the second one in order to write this post. It was actually while drinking the first one that I read on the label that the beer was “The Official Beer of Record Store Day 2017.” The beer in question is a “Tropical Blonde” that has been brewed with kiwi juice and hibiscus flowers (of all things). I’ve had hibiscus flowers in my beer before, but I had not yet drunk a beer with kiwi juice (a fruit that I love) so I was intrigued.

 

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Dogfish Head froma New Belgium glass. This picture is terrible, but the beer is pinky and slightly hazy.

 

Sometimes referred to as a “golden ale,” blonde ales are very light and “easy drinking.” What that means is that the hops are turned way, way, way down and the ABV is usually pretty low. These are hot summer day beers, the kind of thing you drink after you mow your yard or are having a co-ed BBQ in your backyard.  Beer To Drink Music To ’17 is a little heftier in the ABV department, clocking it at a modest 6.8% ABV (for comparison, Bud Light is 4.2% ABV). The beer pours a pinkish-red color and has a slightly sour fruity smell to it. The kiwi flavor is pretty much overwhelmed by the hibiscus, which I find tends to dominate any beer that brews with it. The flavor of the beer is a bit of berry mixed with a floral tang wrapped in a blanket of hops. The beer finishes with a sour bite, which I rather liked, but Mrs. Defending Axl Rose did not.

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The first time I tried this beer, I was not listening to any music, so for the purposes of science I listened to the brand new Biters album THE FUTURE AIN’T WHAT IT USED TO BE. If you don’t know the Biters, they’re a great band with a punk attitude with a garage rock sensibility. This new album is a bit of a departure for them, they had the help of an outside song writer and some of the music strays from their punk-ish roots and actually sounds like 1970’s glam rock (think T-REX and not Bowie). I really enjoyed listening to “Stone Cold Love” which sounds like it could have been an outtake from ELECTRIC WARRIOR with it’s bass groove and Bolan-ish vocal style. Oddly enough, “Don’t Turn This Good Heart Bad” has a guitar hook that sounds like it was lifted from Bachman Turner Overdrive’s “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet.” Still, despite the rather odd mix of influences, this is a fantastic record. I probably should have written a legit review of this album, rather than putz around with this beer.

Anyway, I’m not entirely sure what a tropical beer has to do with Record Store Day (an event I skipped for the millionth time). I guess that, and the price, are my biggest gripes about this beer. I’m not sure what a Record Store Day beer should be, but I’m not convinced this light floral beer fits with the theme. It’s refreshing and interesting enough, certainly, but I don’t think this is something very many people are going to drink and listen to music. If you see this beer, and you’ve either found $20 or it’s been heavily discounted, I guess check it out. However, this beer is probably impossible to find as May was the last month it was set to be distributed.

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Iron Maiden Legacy of the Beast

Legendary British metalheads Iron Maiden are no strangers to merchandising. Beyond the usual band March (t-shirts, posters, hats, etc.) the band was one of the first acts I was personally aware of hawking their own brand of beer. These days, phone apps are where the money is, so it should come as no surprise that Iron Maiden have an iPhone game. Intrigued, I downloaded Iron Maiden Legacy of the Beast to see what it was like. What sort of game would it be? I had no idea. To my surprise, the game is a fanatasy turn-based RPG!


The game follows Maiden’s long-time mascot Eddie as he battles monsters on a quest to reclaim pieces of his soul. Along the way, a mysterious clairvoyant woman helps him and various monsters join your party. The graphics are pretty good for a mobile game. The visuals are fun but not gruesome, like many metal album covers, and the artwork skews very comic book-y. I’m not a huge fan of turn-based games, but I think this style of game play works well for a mobile game. I really liked the style of the creatures you battle and their various attacks. The game also features a ton of references to Iron Maiden’s music. The levels and creatures all have fun names that either directly or indirectly reference the band’s impressive musical legacy. Some of the sound effects for the menus and some of the attacks are also musical flourishes (drum strikes and guitar riffs and the like).


The game is free, which of course means the are micro-transactions. There are a plethora of power-ups and collectibles which I had a really hard time understanding. I played for about 20 minutes before I hit a wall and was asked if I wanted to pay a little money to get extra goodies. I think that if you’re able to resist the nickel-and-diming Iron MaidenLegacy of the Beast is worth checking out if you’re a fan of the band and need a pleasant enough distraction. Casual fans may enjoy the game, too but this game is pretty by-the-numbers and I have no doubt I wouldn’t have bothered downloading it were it not for the bands’s licence. Have you played this game? What are your thoughts and feelings?

I would love to see a GNR game set in a monster-filled LA. Now that’s a game I could really sink my teeth into…

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Overpaying For Concert Ticket PreSales Suck Or How I Learned To Relax And Love LiveNation (NOT)

About a week ago there was a major announcement in Defending Axl Rose-land: The Replacements were going on tour. Luckily for me, one of the stops would be my hometown of Denver. The band reformed about a year ago for a few festival dates, but I wasn’t able to attend any of those. This announcement was the second-chance I never thought I’d get. Once the initial thrill of a Replacements tour dissipated I was left with one thought: these tickets are going to cost a fortune.

Anytime a legendary band re-forms and goes on a reunion tour there’s a ton of money to be made. The Replacements broke up in 1991 and though they’re highly influential, I don’t know anyone personally who actually likes them. So I had no idea just how highly coveted would these tickets be. I’m a terrible judge of popularity—the larger populace more often than not greets the things that seem incredibly important to me with a resounding “meh”. Still, there was no way in hell I was going to pass up a chance to see The Replacements, so I resolved to see them. No matter what. Come hell or high water. *Insert other cliché here*.

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My first move was to see when tickets would go on sale, so I hopped online and went to the band’s trusty website…which immediately linked me to LiveNation. Fucking LiveNation. When I clicked that link I swear my computer made a cash register sound. I won’t bore you with my own personal tale of poverty; I know that there are people worse off. But let’s just say that despite being paid a handsome salary as President & C.E.O of Defending Axl Rose Industries; I don’t have an unlimited supply of funds. Anytime I deal with LiveNation I end up spending double what I thought I was going to pay. Going on their website is akin to being pulled over by a police car. Scrolling through the website is just like rolling down the window and forking over my driver’s license. How much, I think, is this shit going to end up costing me?

LiveNation’s website indicated that The Replacements tickets were going on sale to the public on Friday but that there was a “Presale” the day before. Gripped with a nerdy fear that I might not get to go due to a lack of tickets, I instantly jumped on the hope that this mysterious presale offered. There was zero information explaining what the rules or requirements of the presale was, so I had no choice but to set a timer in my iPhone and check back at the time of the presale.

I know exactly none of you care what my opinion of presales is, but I’m going to tell you: I hate them. Essentially presales are insulting to most fans, rewarding the lucky few who possess a Visa Rapid Rewards Card or who belong to KQRC’s Morning Madness Fan Club. Want the privilege of buying overpriced tickets before anyone else? Sign up for our annoying ass mailing list. Despite being such a massive music nerd, I have no love for fan clubs and don’t think I should have to give the Kaiser Chiefs my personal info to score tickets to their show before all of you other sweaty basement dwellers.

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When the day of the presale came I hit up LiveNation’s website to see if they’d explain what hoops I’d have to jump through to score tickets. It turned out the presale wasn’t for a credit card or fan club I didn’t belong to…it was for a local radio station and users of the LiveNation app! The idea of downloading a free to app to score a code to buy tickets a day early didn’t seem so bad. I went to the App Store and quickly downloaded the app. Then I spent five minutes or so setting up an account with the app. Then I navigated to the Replacements concert within the app, thinking there I’d be allowed to purchase tickets for the show. Nope.

I was treated to a rage-inducing notice that tickets would go on sale the next day. Well played, LiveNation. The whole purpose of the app-only presale was to get me to stupidly download their app and give them my information, which I happily did. Too bad I wasn’t paid in kind for my cooperation. I double-checked myself, just to make sure I hadn’t missed something. When I was sure that I hadn’t, I angrily deleted the app from my phone. Then I went back on LiveNation to see if I was confused or had missed something. The website insisted that as an app user I’d be provided with a code I could use for the presale. I resigned myself to having to wait a day to buy tickets. Then about 20 minutes later I downloaded the app for a second time and tried it all over again.

Pissed off and feeling foolish, I decided to double-down on the amount of time I was going to waste on this presale and went back to LiveNation’s website in order to file a complaint. At the very bottom of their page I found a FAQ/Help link. There I found a section about presales which offered this nugget of wisdom:

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Guess what, LiveNation: FUCK YOU.

I couldn’t believe it, could it really be that simple? Did all I need to do was type “beatbox” and I’d magically be allowed to give them my money? Yep, it really was that simple. I deleted the app off my phone for the second time and swore under breath. Then I dropped $121 I didn’t really have on concert tickets. Much like songstress Jewel, these foolish games are tearing me apart.

I get that with this presale LiveNation wanted me to download and use their app, but without doing what they said it was going to do (i.e. give me a code to buy presale tickets) it makes it look like LiveNation doesn’t know what it’s doing. Being a multi-million dollar company, this level of incompetence casts LiveNation in an evil, manipulative light. So which is it, LiveNation are you incompetent or evil?

Sadly it doesn’t matter if they’re evil, because even though I wasn’t happy with them, I still gave them my money. What choice did I have? I guess I could have waited a day and half and gone down to the venue to purchase tickets, but I’m not even sure if I can do that anymore. And waiting on tickets can mean missing out on shows, especially when scalping computers swoop in to buy up all the tickets for those shady online re-sellers.

I can’t even remember the last time I bought tickets anywhere other than online. Much like cable companies, LiveNation and other giant ticket sellers have all us music fans by the balls. I love seeing bands play live, but I hate everything about buying concert tickets. As the music industry shrinks faster than the polar icecaps, I get understand that concert revenue has become increasingly important. I get that high tickets are paying for my evil, music streaming-ways. And if I truly love a band, I’ll pay way more than I should to see them in concert, but why do ticket retailers like LiveNation have to give me an electronic wedgie when I try to give them my money?

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METAL MONDAY: I drank The Trooper while listening to “The Trooper”

Over the past few years I’ve become something of a beer connoisseur. I became interested in beer after relocating to St. Louis, Missouri a city that’s a major player in the beer industry. Besides nasty, corporate swill (St. Louis is home of the world-famous Budweiser) the city is home to some of this country’s greatest microbreweries. When it came time to move once again, I’d be lying if I said that Colorado’s fantastic brewing culture didn’t play a role in my moving decision.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: I love beer. Beer is something I have a great deal of passion and interest in. In fact, if I’d been a better chemistry student in school I’d probably give brewing a try. But enough about me, let’s get to the beer.

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I’d seen the Iron Maiden-themed beer The Trooper at various liquor stores for the past few years but had never picked it up until last week. Does Iron Maiden need their own beer? I’m only a casual fan of the band, so perhaps I’m not the best one to answer that question. My gut tells me “no,” however. Don’t get me wrong, I get the mindless merchandising of classic bands…but why a beer? Most rock bands project an image of reckless debauchery, Iron Maiden is no different, but I don’t think of them as a drinking band. And “The Trooper” is not a song about drinking, so what gives? Mindless merchandising…

Anyway, I finally took the bait and bought a bottle of The Trooper. I took it home and got it chilled, but not super-cold, because that’s how they drink beer in England. Also, I’d had a particularly shitty day and just wanted to drink and write about Iron Maiden.

Upon opening the bottle I took a sniff, the beer smelled predominantly malty with a touch of sweetness. The beer poured clear and golden, with a nice frothy head. While I waited for the foam to subside, I started up “The Trooper.” It’s interesting to note that the song, off the band’s album PIECE OF MIND, is exactly three days older than me. Yes, The Trooper is a beer based on a 31 ½ year old metal song. The song is famously inspired by the Lord Tennyson poem “The Charge of the Light Brigade.” That poem, like the song, is about a famous battle of the Crimean War in which a colossal screw up in communication resulted in a bunch of British soldiers bravely (stupidly?) charging when their commanders actually wanted them to retreat. The symbolism weighed heavily on my mind when exactly two minutes into the song, I took a sip.

I was surprised at how the beer tasted more subdued than I thought based on the smell. Rather than a sweet, candy-like flavor the beer has an immediate undercurrent of hops giving The Trooper a tangy, somewhat bitter after-taste. The alcohol content is surprisingly low, only 4.7% alcohol by volume (ABV). Here in the U.S.A., we tend to value higher alcohol content, but in Britain session beers (read: ones that don’t get you fucked up) are quite common. The Trooper is an ESB, which stands for Extra Special Bitter; this is a style that has a malty flavor with a nice hop kick.

I won’t lie to you, this is not a style that is very common in this country.  Nor is it one that I have much experience drinking. Is the Trooper a good ESB? I honestly don’t know. I’m guessing it’s not because it’s an Iron Maiden-themed beer and again mindless merchandising. Is The Trooper a good beer in general? It’s okay. I bought this beer specifically to write about it for this post, now that I’ve done that I don’t plan on buying it again. Would I turn this down if someone offered it to me for free? Hell-to-the-no.

"Some drinking implied."

“Some drinking implied.”

“The Trooper” is a great song, but I don’t need to tell you that do I? It’s Iron Maiden’s most well known song and with good reason. The song has a fantastic, highly memorable guitar hook and it’s based on a famous poem about a famous battle. I’m sure if I were British all of this would make my heart swell and mean even more. The truth is: Maiden’s a classic band, the song is fantastic, and this beer is just okay.

I get that they went with a traditional British beer style, but I’m deducting points for the low ABV. Truly the marketing geniuses at Robinsons Brewery missed the boat on this one. The Trooper should have had an ABV of 6.66% (the most metal of all ABV’s). I mean, come on how did no one think of this? I’m a shut-in music blogger and even I have the sense and savvy to know that would have made more sense. I can forgive the band for selling out because it is pretty metal to have your own beer. But having that beer come in below 5%? Well that’s just weak.

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