Sometimes there are questions too big for one man. Sometimes, in the search for ultimate truth, we must seek the guidance of others. And then there are times when one wants to increase traffic to one’s blog by actively seeking participation of one’s small readership by stoking the fires of eternal debate…
Yes friends, it’s time to review the lastest statistical disaster I like to call my HIGHLY-UNSCIENTIFIC ROCK POLL! It’s been a while since this poll was conducted, sorry that it took so long for me to get my act together but I had some stuff come up and I wasn’t able to devote myself to DEFENDING AXL ROSE like I should have/like to. I knew that this poll would be controversial but I didn’t know just HOW near and dear Rock Frontmen were to people’s hearts. What makes a good font-man? He (or she) has to be charismatic in addition to being a good singer/performer. A good front-man is like an ambassador for his/her band. Musicians can be pretty difficult to get along with and some of the best technical players are completely unable to connect with human beings–and that’s where a front-man comes in. Unlike just about every other part of a band, a front-man is really hard to replace (more on that later). Anyway, I opened Pandora’s box and asked DEFENDING AXL ROSE’s followers “Who is the All-Time Greatest Front-Man?” Here are the results:
8, 7, and 6 (no votes) Mick Jagger, Roger Daltrey, and Kurt Cobain: Honestly, these were all solid choices and the fact that MICK JAGGER got ZERO votes should tell you how cut-throat this poll was. Jagger pretty much came to define the classic rock front-man: the swagger, the bat-shit crazy dance moves, the delivery. Roger Daltrey is another excellent “classic” front-man in the same tradition as Mick Jagger. The Who was an explosive band (literally, go ask Pete Townshend about how explosive they were–if he can hear you) and to front a band like The Who was no easy task. More than just being a rocker, Daltrey paved the way for more theatrical front-men when The Who started doing rock operas. Kurt Cobain was the most modern front-man on the list and as such, Cobain’s role in Nirvana was much different than tossing his hair and strutting around like a rooster. Cobain helped popularize the “tortured” front-man. By making himself less accessible to fans, Cobain drew us all in closer. That’s very different from Jagger’s chicken-dancing. Still, as awesome and important as these front-men were (seriously, try to picture their respective bands without them) they got no love from my poll-takers.
3. (TIE one vote each) Axl Rose, Robert Plant, and Lemmy Kilmister: I bet you thought I voted for Axl Rose, didn’t you? Well as much as I love and respect Axl, I didn’t vote for him. And from the way this poll panned out, not very many of you voted for him either. Robert Plant, Led Zeppelin’s self-proclaimed “Golden God” only got one vote as did Motorhead’s fugly metal-head Lemmy Kilmister. Lemmy and Mick Jagger are the only two front-men on this list that I’ve actually seen in person and let me tell you–Lemmy was waaay cooler in person. He’s ugly, loud, brash and he know it. Robert Plant’s mellowed significantly over the years, so I can understand why many people don’t hold him in as high regard, but in his hey-day he was considered a force of nature. Guitarist Jimmy Page has spent the past 30 years trying to find someone as dynamic as Plant to front his music–and he’s come up dry.
Axl. Axl, Axl, Axl…what happened? He’s a bit like Mick Jagger mixed with Cobain’s stand-offishness, mixed with a gallon of gasoline and asshole. I think he’s a brillant front-man but I think he shot himself in the foot with his inability to work well with others, a trait that every good front-man needs. A front-man fronts a band, he doesn’t just represent himself–which Axl is often guilty of doing.
2. Ozzy Osbourne (2 votes): The Oz Man Commeth! I recently took a long car trip and one of the things I listened to was Ozzy-era Black Sabbath, what a band that was! Ozzy’s great because he has fantastic range both vocally and the kinds of songs he can do–scary ass Satan songs? Check. Whistful ballads? Check. Rockin’ anthem? Check. The bitting the heads off stuff sure helps, too. He’s a legend of hard rock and I was not surprised he came in second. There’s a reason he’s got an entire FESTIVAL named after him (he married a pushy ball-buster, I kid! I kid!). There’s a (mostly complete) Black Sabbath reunion hitting the road right now and I would love to check them out.
Before I talk about the #1 I feel that I should acknowledge that there were a few requests that I add a few font-men, specifically Thom Yorke of Radiohead fame and Bono from U2. I didn’t add these two because frankly, I’m not a Radiohead person (nothing wrong with them) and Bono slipped my mind. Initially I wasn’t going to do anything but ignore these requests…then I thought about it and decided that what I would do is have another poll and then have the winners of each poll battle it out.
But that was before Freddie Mercury swept this poll.
#1. Freddie Mercury (13 votes): This doesn’t really surprise me. When the topic of font-men come up, Freddie’s name always comes up. You want charisma? Mercury had more than enough, he was oozing charisma. Queen’s a awesome rock band because they were so many different things: gay/straight, operatic/balls-to-the-walls rocking, playful/dead serious–but despite their duality, they were always amazing. How badass was Freddie Mercury? He was still writing and recording music right up to his death. How committed to his art was Freddie Mercury? Doctors told him for years to fix his overbite and he refused, he was worried correcting his teeth would change the sound of his voice. That’s commitment. That’ s love. And you know what? He did it all for you, the listener. If I was on my deathbed, you better believe this blog would be the last thing on my mind. Freddie just wanted to make music and he did. He complimented his bandmates and helped make them superstars. A few years ago, Queen re-formed and tried to solider on with Paul Rodgers, a legendary front-man in his own right (he was in Free and Bad Company). How did that go? Not so well…it wasn’t that Rodgers was bad–he just wasn’t Freddie Mercury. Freddie Mercury is the greatest rock front-man off all-time.