Hooray! The temps are getting lower, the leaves are turning colors, and I’m all out of vacation time at work…which means it’s NOVEMBER! As I’m sure you’re all aware, it’s also “No Shave November.” Now, the MAN would have you believe that having too much hair is a bad thing, but you know better, don’t you? Long hair and beards are the most rock ‘n roll thing there is. I’m doing my part to let grow, as I do every winter. Does my boss like my beard? I don’t know because I don’t ask. A winter-coat is important to survive the harsh Mid-West winters…but it’s even more important if you’re gonna ROCK!
To celebrate No Shave November, I thought I’d count down my Top 10 All-Time Greatest Rock Beards. Yes, ZZ Top is on this list.
10. Jim Morrison. I know most of you like to think of Jim as a clean-shaven, sober, upstanding member of society…but not me.
9. Scott Ian. The Anthrax guitarist is pretty much world-famous for his facial hair.
8. Dave Grohl. The Foo Fighter’s frontman has the kind of beard you wouldn’t mind taking home to meet your mother.
7. George Harrison. The quiet Beatle was an understated guitarist and an amazing beard-grower.
6. Jim Ford. While not a household name, Jim Ford’s song writing inspired Nick Lowe, who covered his song “36 Inches High.” 36 inches was also his beard length (give or take).
5. Willie Nelson. This man rocks. Plain and simple, as does his beard which is just as famous as Lincoln’s.
4. Paul McCartney. The cute one got married an rocked an awesome 70’s beard. It was good times.
3. Jerry Garcia. I think we’re all grateful for Jerry’s awesome bushy beard.
2. Frank Zappa. Controversial, as Zappa is mostly known for his manicured mustache and soul patch, still a beard in my book.
1. Billy Gibbons. Come on, who else?
For more beard-related fun, why not stop by and visit my friends over at Beards.org. And remember, shaving is for little sissy babies!
The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino has yanked down a city-wide ad for the historic (sorta) Guns ‘N Roses concerts taking place in Las Vegas this month after a bunch of anger/complaints from the citizens of Las Vegas. The poster, which incorporates artwork from painter Robert Williams* bizarre sci-fi painting titled “Appetite for Destruction,” has a lecherous robot in a compromising position with a defenseless, splayed woman. Oh, and her shirt is ripped open and her panties are around her ankles. You know, typical Disney stuff.
This is not the first time that the band’s use of this painting has caused controversy. Back in 1987, retailers refused to stock GNR’s debut album APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION because Axl & Company wanted to use it as the cover art. In the end, the band fell to label pressure and alternate artwork was used. The painting is more batshit-stupid than rocking. At least, that’s my opinion. I don’t understand GNR’s continued insistence on using it to represent themselves, to be honest.
I’m astounded that the bean counters over at the Hard Rock actually agreed to run the ads. What better way to convince people that your brand is fun for the whole family than a leering, rape-y robot? To be clear, I hate this painting and I wish GNR/Axl would get over their massive hard-on for it...however Las Vegas is known the world-over as “Sin City.” We’re not talking about Orlando, Florida or Branson, Missouri. We’re talking about the smutty-ist, gambling capital of the country. A place where shady looking dudes hand out flyers of chicks you can legally pay to know (like in the Biblical sense).
I can’t imagine the ad was the most misogynistic thing the fanny-pack wearing masses of Las Vegas are being subjected to in a city where selling women is mostly legal. I was recently in Times Square and that place was stuffed to the gills with super-porny clothing ads. I know it’s not the same because none of the Gap ads were violent, but as we all know sex sells and this shit is everywhere these days. Again, I’m not saying I think this ad should be plastered at the airport, welcoming families to Las Vegas (which it was), but I think Las Vegas needs to check itself. I mean, this is Las Vegas we’re talking about. And this poster is a drawing. It doesn’t depict actual human beings, unlike the prostitute ads.
In the end, I can’t help but think that this is just a publicity stunt. This controversy was not only foreseen but wanted, I suppose to generate interest in the concerts and get us all talking–in which case: mission accomplished. Las Vegas should take a long look in the mirror and GNR should put “Appetite for Destruction” (the painting) to rest.
Last week while I was bunkered down in New York City, waiting for Hurricane Sandy to do her worst, my wife’s best-friend Becky bravely sacrificed her iPhone’s battery so that we might have some tunes by candlelight. I love going through people’s iTunes, I find it a nice way to both get to know AND judge the shit out of someone. My iTunes is an atrocious mix of the best and worst of rock, pop, jazz, country, and blues music. There’s things in it that I’m proud of…and a lot that I’d rather you just skip over.
Imagine there’s no Red Rocker.
Becky’s iPhone was filled with a lot of her favorite bands: Green Day and Barenaked Ladies. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I’d say I like both those bands enough. Anyway, as I browsed her iTunes, I noted that she had Van Halen’s “Jump” one her phone twice: once from the album 1984 (GREAT album by the way) and again from a Greatest Hits compilation. I laughed and pointed this out. She had an explantation, but there was no need: “Jump” is great song so why NOT have it on your phone?
Becky loves it when I take pics of her sleeping, that’s why we’re such good friends.
Becky also had a large quantity of The Beatles on her phone, as well as some John Lennon solo stuff. That got me thinking, had Becky heard Mighty Mike’s “Imagine A Jump”? She hadn’t, and it really bummed me out. Mighty Mike is this French DJ that does mind-blowingly awesome mash-ups. Seriously. Before Mighty Mike, I thought DJ’s and mash-ups were lame, but this guy’s Queen/Michael Jackson mash-ups changed my mind.
“Imagine A Jump” is one of Mighty Mike’s best. It’s the acapella/vocals of Van Halen’s “Jump” merged with the hauntingly simple piano of John Lennon’s classic “Imagine.” The best part? The (slowed down) vocals actually work with “Imagine.” The upbeat, devil-may-care Van Halen song is transformed into a downbeat, depressing ode to suicide and desperation. I know that doesn’t sound particularly funbut it’s actually a cheeky bit of fun.
I understand that this is now old news at this point, but I’ve been unable to write about Axl Rose’s recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel. Part of the reason was that I was horribly stranded in New York City during the recent super-storm/clusterfuck. But another part was my brain’s slowed reaction to the appearance.
Axl was appropriate for the entire interview, except for his stupid hat.
On one hand, I found Axl’s first major TV interview to be a colossal disappointment and a great relief. It was disappointing because Axl looks like someone’s bloated dad. Look, I’m a fat, nerdy music writer so I can say it: Axl used to be a rock adonis, and now he’s pudgy old guy. The hat was also stupid. I know it’s not cool to be balding or whatever is going on under that hat…but for crying out loud Axl, that hat makes you look insane. It’s easy for me to say own your baldness when I still have a head full of hair, but I think it’s pretty vain when rock stars refuse to take off their hats/headbands. You know who my all-time rockstar hair hero is? James Taylor. James Taylor went bald and took it like a man. He didn’t bother with any coverup or conspiracy, he was like “this is what my head looks like.” Kids today might not think it ballsy but there was a time when James Taylor was known for his giant mane of hair. He wasn’t a hair-metal guy by any stretch, but he did have nice hair.
Enjoy all that sexy hair, 1970’s James Taylor, cos it won’t last…
But I digress. This post is not about hair.
So Axl’s gotten old, I can deal with that. The bigger disappointment was also the thing that gave me tremendous relief: Axl Rose wasn’t insane or weird (hat not withstanding). He was plainspoken, friendly, and engaged in talking with Jimmy Kimmel. Kimmel even made a point of saying how surprised he was that Axl was talking to him during the interview. The pictures of Axl’s Halloween Tree and his story about how he likes to see kids freak out when they see it was cool. Some might say that the critical and commercial failure of CHINESE DEMOCRACY has humbled Rose, and that’s why the man we see is so down-to-earth and normal. But I don’t see it that way. The way I see it, Axl without all the bullshit is just a normal dude like you or me.
I’m sad that he wasn’t bizarre and we didn’t get some crazy sound bytes out of the appearance–but mostly I’m glad to see that Axl isn’t the douchebag the media have portrayed him to be. On a side side note, I was glad to see The Whigs perform later on in the episode (I’ve seen them live a few times and they’re awesome) but I was REALLY REALLY sad that Guns ‘N Roses didn’t play a song instead. How awesome would that have been?
Lastly, the reason we got this odd bit of Axl publicity: the Vegas shows. Had I not just spent all my money and remaining vacation time stranded in NYC, I think I’d actually go out and catch one of the GNR Vegas shows. In a perfect world, the last show of the band’s month-long stand would be televised or streamed online AND we’d get a Live Album released next year. But the reality is: after these shows, the US probably won’t see Axl or Guns ‘N Roses for a while. Maybe I’m wrong, I hope I am.
The Flaming Lips are good at a lot of things, but spelling is not one of those things.
Turns out they’d just make a really nice song. The Flaming Lips put out an album of collaborations this year called THE FLAMING LIPS AND HEADY FWENDS (sic) which features Tame Impala. The song, “Children of The Moon,” might not be as epic of mind-blowing as one would hope…but it is really good.
The song leans more towards the Australian rockers mellow-gold rather than The Lip’s more purple nurple sound. Still, you can definitely hear how The Flaming Lips magnified Tame Impala’s more understated vibe (to great effect I think).
Australian daytrippers Tame Impala burst onto the collective consciousness in 2010 with their fantastic debut album INNERSPEAKER. That record, which I once described as perfect Sunday morning chill-out music, set the bar pretty high for the band. I honestly didn’t expect to hear from Tame Impala so quickly, especially after lead singer/songwriter Kevin Parker released an album of similarly psychedelic (but far woolier) tunes under the name Pond in March of this year. Much to my delight, however, Tame Impala is back with their new album LONERISM.
In case your’re wondering, the sign on the gate reads: “Dogs, even on a leash, are not admitted beyond this point.”
What I find most interesting about the album is that it’s both a leap forward and a step back. Sonically, the album is lightyears ahead of INNERSPEAKER, which itself was hovering at the very finge of our soloar system. The band pushes the band’s sound even further into space with it’s heavier use of synthesizers. Parker has said in interviews that LONERISM is more prog/indulgent that the last record. And while that typically is a negative, in this case the songs on LONERISM run wild without running completely away (the longest song clocks in at just over six minutes). The band’s vast, spaced-out sound is pushed to the limits on such tracks as “Mind Mischief” and “Apocalypse Dreams.” Both tracks sound like a calmer, mellower, less cartoon version of The Flaming Lips. LONERISM also recalls Todd Rundgren, whom the band has cited as a major influence.
That said, LONERISM is also a bit of step back in that lyrically the majority of the songs deal with personal issues of loneliness, isolation, and social awkwardness. The best example of this is the woe-is-me jam “Why Won’t They Talk To Me?” in which Parker sings about being alone and only thinking he’s happy. This material would probably seem whiny, self-pitying, and immature except that it’s swathed in a big bouncy beat. The trippy vibe takes an emo kids lament and transforms it into the inner musings of a stoned philosophy major. The albums themes of isolation are also represented on the album’s cover, which is a photo taken by Parker at a French public park. I think the shot of the happy people viewed through the bars works best with “Why Won’t They Talk To Me?” Tame Impala was smart to both expand their telescope sonically while at the same time write more personal songs. It keeps the band from floating away entirely into the stratosphere where the listener is unable to relate to them.
Sitting amongst the green.
Special mention should be made concerning the band, specifically Kevin Parker’s affinity for John Lennon. John Lennon’s ghost looms large on LONERISM, specifically on the albums best songs “Feels Like We Only Go Backwards,” “Sun’s Coming Up,” and “Elephant”. Parker’s vocals eerily channel the former Beatle throughout the album, but on “Feels Like We Only Go Backwards” sound like a lost PLASTIC ONO BAND track. “Sun’s Coming Up” sounds like a sleepy/boozy Lennon demo for one of his piano ballads. “Elephant” which is my favorite track on the album, sounds like “For The Benefit of Mr. Kite” merged with “I Am The Walrus.”It’s a lumbering rocker that wouldn’t stick out too much on MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR. The homage/influence of Lennon will probably turn off as many people as it switches on. I don’t think it’s 100% fair to give Tame Impala too much grief about this because:
1. The dude can’t help who he sounds like
and
2. There are worse things to be like than John Lennon. Do Tame Impala rip off The Beatles? No. Do they re-invent the wheel? No, but what they create vast sonic murals of trippy space rock and they do it well–end of story.
Ah. Freak. Out.
Tame Impala have forged a solid second record with all the big, epic sound you’d expect from the band that brought us INNERSPEAKER. However, more than just delivering more of the same, the band has stretched their legs and dug a little deeper for LONERISM. The album, while not as top-to-bottom perfect as INNERSPEAKER, still manages to capture the imagination and delight the listener. To say that LONERISM is a headphones album would be the understatement of the year. Switch off the lights, pop in your ear buds, and close your eyes.
Tennessee rockers The Features have become one of my favorite bands through double-osmosis: I dragged my wife to a Kings of Leon show a few years ago and they were one of the opening acts. So impressed with their sound, my wife did something she never does and actually went out bought some of the bands CD’s. The Features are probably one of the hardest-working bands I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing–six times in less than 4 years.
Beyond the endless touring, however, The Features also consistently release an album every year (give or take) that’s really good. The band’s song writing has not only been solid as a rock, but they’ve done that rare thing in rock where they’ve stayed true to themselves while still managing to grow artistically AND appeal to an increasingly wider audience. Most recently, the band was featured in a national TV spot for a big American car company.
WILDERNESS, the band’s latest album is fantastic…but you should hear them all.
The Features seem to be a band on the verge of breaking big, and when that day comes I’m going to feel very smug. But because I’m a Hipster-Soothsayer, I’m going to be a bit sad, too. I mean, can a band so down-to-Earth and workman-like endure the harsh spotlight? I wouldn’t think so, but then I heard “Fats Domino” from the band’s most recent album WILDERNESS.
“Fats Domino” is a soft battle-cry, but a battle-cry nonetheless. It’s about all the things we need, or don’t need. It’s a list of everything not needed…and the one thing that we can’t live without: Rock ‘n Roll. “You can take everything except my rock ‘n roll, my love, put down Fats Domino.” The song, which is in the context of a relationship ending, on the surface is about a dude asking for his records, but beyond the surface “Fats Domino” is about nourishing, enduring magic of rock music. We live in a modern world full of so much crap that, quite frankly, none of us need. “Fats Domino” is a song written by a band that has it’s priorities in order and their heads on straight. That it’s called “Fats Domino” and not “Elvis Presley” or even “Chuck Berry” is both telling and extremely comforting. Not only do The Features know where they as a band are going, they know where rock has been.
I think this sort of musical literacy and historical awareness is not only endearing but also very comforting. I’m comforted that The Features love rock music. They don’t just live it, eat, sleep, and breathe it–they know it intimately. The Features aren’t rock stars, they’re craftsmen. The albums they make are strong, sturdy chairs like those built by master-carpenters; beautiful to look at but also very functional.
So I don’t worry about The Features getting success and losing their heads. The only thing that I worry is that the success will remain elusive for them, not for their sake….but yours.
If there’s one thing that I love, it’s finding out that a band I really love has put out new music. But what I love even more is when a band I’ve completely written off as “disbanded” returns with new music. LA rockers TSAR put out two phenomenal albums that really didn’t get the attention they deserved.
Their self-titled debut album is more than worthy of a CLASSIC ALBUMS REVISITED post and their last record, BAND GIRLS MONEY was worthy follow-up that proved the band wasn’t a fluke. But then something happened, I don’t know because I’m not in LA and I don’t follow that scene…but TSAR went away. Then, a few days ago, I was prepping my iPhone for a trip and what do I see on Spotify? Brand-spanking new TSAR music.
THE DARK STUFF is an Ep of five songs; all killer, no filler power-pop perfection. Upon first listen, I was surprised at how dark THE DARK STUFF really is. Sure, the music is still sugary and fun; but TSAR aren’t pulling any punches–these songs have a real bite to them. The first song, “Punctual Alcoholic” is a demented, spooky song that appropriately name-checks Stephen King. The phrase punctual alcoholic is one of those really good TSAR-isms that I’ve been missing over the last few years.
Despite being really well-produced, the song was a bit of shock in that it wasn’t as hyper-produced as the songs from BAND GIRLS MONEY. It’s a really good, really catchy song that instantly reminded me why I love this band.
The second track, “Police Station” is a more straight-forward rocker and sounded more akin to the songs from the band’s last album, but toned down and more thoughtful. I especially like the reference’s to “Teen Wizards,” another of the band’s songs. “Little Woman” returns to the darker, melodic quality that gives the Ep it’s name.
The best song on THE DARK STUFF is the last track, “Something Bad Happened To Me.” Like “Punctual Alcoholic,” it’s more restrained than the band’s previous album but edgier. It’s like a haunted-house where the music is provided by Cheap Trick by way of George Harrison, The Cars, and Steely Dan. It’s a very cool, multi-faceted song that seamlessly morphs from acoustic noodle to electric monster.
TSAR is still a great power pop band, but with THE DARK STUFF the band seems to be moving away from the endless-partyrock sensability and more textured, mature rock. I didn’t think it would be possible for TSAR to come back and actually be more interesting than they already were, but with THE DARK STUFF the band has proven that not only are they back but they’re better than ever. I only hope that we don’t have to wait long for the full album.
A few weekends ago I was in a crepe restaurant waiting for some breakfast. I was holding down a table for a group of my friends; the place was packed, with a line wrapped around the counter. Sunday (bloody Sunday) morning was in full effect: I was mildly hung-over and the prospect of a new work-week loomed large.
And what did I hear? What did I hear while my head ached and I waited for my corn beef hash? Irish rockers U2 wailing out “Vertigo” on the restaurant’s sound system. I whipped out my iPhone, and as I do from time to time, I posted something snarky and nasty on Facebook about the song and the band. Almost immediately I got feedback, the general consensus: What the hell is wrong with you, Jason? U2 is awesome.
A long time ago, I used to fall to peer pressure when it came to what was hip or cool, but those days are long since passed. I like what I like and I don’t give a fuck. I purchased the first two Lady GaGa albums, and I’m admitting it! On my Axl Rose-themed music blog!!! So believe me when I tell you, I like you but I could care less what you think of what I like or don’t like. When it comes to U2 I’m so torn. On one hand, I love classic U2. I think THE JOSHUA TREE is an amazingly, triumph of an album. On the other hand, “Vertigo” is pretty much the worst U2 song ever. Their current output has left me cold at times, though I did finally come around on their last album.
I remember in the early 1990’s when U2 came to Kansas City to film a music video for “Last Night On Earth” and how all the people who interacted with them said nothing but nice things. I remember when I thought U2 was lame and over-the-hill…and then ALL THAT YOU CAN’T LEAVE BEHIND came out and proved me wrong.
I saw U2 in 2001 a month after 9/11 and Bono had me in near tears projecting the names on the side of our local arena–so when I tell you that U2 is one of the most disappointing bands I’ve ever known, realize that comes form a place of love. What disappoints me about them? The same things that I find disappointing in myself: they’re lazy. U2 used to consistently put out fucking life-affirming, kick-ass rock music. Music that was not only bad-ass but had a clear message either about how fucked up our world was or how it could be a better place. This year? I’m listening to U2 sing in Spanish about what? 1-2-3?
What’s wrong with “Vertigo”? Where to start…how about it’s not nearly as good as “Another Day.” I bet you’ve never heard “Another Day.” Don’t feel bad if you haven’t, it just means you got laid in High School and aren’t crippled by your obsession of obscure rock music like I am. The song came out in 1980 just before U2 released their first album BOY, and it’s my all-time favorite U2 song. The song, which features a memorable punky-yodel from Bono, and vaguely recalls a Steve Miller song, is great for none of the reasons I like U2.
Only 2 luftballons…
It’s not particularly political and doesn’t make any large point. The song is super-unique musically (again, I swear there’s a Steve Miller song that sounds just like it). So why do I love it? “Another Day” is pure and fun. There’s a simple, but awesome guitar lick and Bono sounds like he’s having fun. The song also has a bit of a tough-edge (pun intended) near the end with the Edge’s guitar solo…but it’s not an over-the-top wank-fest.
“Another Day” is a young, hungry band having a blast…”Vertigo” is an bunch of old men resting on their laurels. If you can honestly listen to “Another Day” and tell me “Vertigo” is a better song…then you’re completely delusional and need professional help.
Seriously though, “Another Day” is a lost classic that I love dearly. Long live U2. Fuck “Vertigo.”
EDIT 10/25/2012: So while I was writing this I was trying to figure out which Steve Miller song “Another Day” reminded me of. Today at work it came to me, like something from a dream–“Swingtown.” It’s the vocals, nothing else really is similar. Anyway, mystery solved.
Have I told you I like cartoons? I do. I remember falling in love with Cartoon Network’s ADULT SWIM block of adult-themed cartoons way before it was cool. Metalocalypse is probably my all-time favorite. It’s a hilarious send-up/love letter to all things metal. The show follows the trails and tribulations of Dethklok, the world’s most famous and beloved band. All the members of Dethklok are insane/over-the-top rock caricatures…and that’s what makes me love it.
Oh, they’re real…real awesome!
The show is also extremely gory and violent, which is probably a turn-off for a lot of people, but understand: the violence is ironic. Anyway, the band’s real-life counterparts are on tour to promote their third album which came out this month. The video below is for their latest “single” which is distrubingly titled “I Ejaculate Fire.”
This is not high art by any means…but nonetheless awesome. Oh, yeah: WARNING THIS VIDEO IS NSFW.
Defending Axl Rose 